What do women want in a relationship?

maureen ochieng
4 min readApr 24, 2022
photo by high5test.com

Understanding what women want in a relationship has been quite a challenge for most men in the world and they are really trying their best to understand this complicated gender. While some of them have been successful by just observing the woman’s behavior, others have been bold enough to ask the women what they really want and yet majority still don’t get it. It’s quite a challenge to not know what your lady really wants, especially when you can offer her anything

I have listed some of them here though it might not represent all women but majority can relate.

1. Make your intentions clear.

When you are at the talking stage, make sure you let her know what you want from her. Whether it is a friend with benefit thing, or you are not looking for something serious or long term or you want a serious relationship with her. That way she will be able to choose whether to stay or end it. Most men do not communicate this early enough, making the woman confused and she might end up leaving the relationship. This also prevents the most famous, difficult and uncomfortable question of “What are we”.

2. Lead her.

Trust me, women love men who take charge of the relationship. They love to be led. Be the guy who arranges most dates in a relationship, be it hiking, a walk in the park, movie nights or chilling together at home, as a man always be the one arranging these stuff often. “I am taking you out tomorrow for a walk, dress comfortably, I will pick you up at 3.30PM, be ready by then”. A woman would prefer this type of message to this other type, “I would like to take you out for a date, when are you free?” That woman will never be free, unless she loves you enough. She will keep telling you that she will let you know when she is free, which will never happen by the way, so take charge.

3. Give her space .

Have your own personal life outside the relationship. Do not be the “I am nothing without you type”. Spend quality time together but then spend time with your friends too, enjoy your hobbies alone sometimes and keep yourself busy, do not be the idle boyfriend who texts his girlfriend the whole day, this is a deal breaker to most ladies.

4. Be a goal oriented man with realistic dreams.

You might not be rich but having goals and dreams and working towards them is a turn on to most ladies. Do not be that partner who whines and complain all day about his problems and does nothing. Show her that you have something going on. If you are living with your lady and you don’t have any source of income while she is working, make efforts. Do not just stay on the sofa all day watching movies and playing video games. Wake up in the morning, work out, apply for jobs, go out and look for things to do, make yourself busy until you find a source of income, otherwise you risk losing her.

5. Do the little things for her and mean them

It is the little things that matter, and women love them. Remembering her birthday, her favorite dish, something she doesn’t like in her food, chocolate flavor, taking care of her during “that time of the month”, a little gift goes a long way or just compliments, women love compliments alooot!

6. Do not struggle too much to impress her.

Be real and true to yourself. Fakeness is a huge turn off. Do not take loans just to impress her with expensive dates and vacations, expensive gifts, or buying yourself things that you cannot afford, simply because you want to show how rich you are. Keep it simple and real. A woman who wants you will fall in love with the real you.

7. be secure

Do not be the type of guy who is always jealous and over protective. A little jealousy is good but when your woman can no longer go out without you, simply because you suspect a man might make a move on her in your absence then your relationship is set to end anytime and she might end up cheating on you, not because she likes it but because she wants to prove to you that you cannot control her. Show her that you trust her and by that she will be able to trust herself too when you are not around and stay loyal to you.



maureen ochieng

I write what is in my mind, what I experience day to day, what i dream about in form of poetry,scripts,short stories or just educative articles.